thePAGESofMYlife-

2011-06-13T11:40:00.000+08:00

BASS DOWN LOW.

I swear getting over some one you care so much about is the hardest.

But if put to the test,
you gotta emerge the winner.
Not relative to him but to yourself.

ttfm!

2011-06-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE READING MRS.

oh hello weird Thursday.

Recently, I've been doing things that is unusual of me.

I've figured the importance in my life.

Okay, I knew it all along just did not really acted upon it.

And to be quite frank, I don't see the stamina of me doing so.

But, hell, I'm gonna try.

Browsed through friends' profiles and I actually do feel envious of the lives of some of my counterparts.

The opportunities they're given and the privileges they've got.

I hope they know that they are lucky (:

Good for em despite my jealousy.

HAH. Okay still with good intentions.

It's test after test for me,

and i've got one burning question,

what in the world does PACEMAN stands for?!

See carmella the effects of being tired in lecture.

Alright, enough of this,

catch you guys soon!

TTFN!

2011-05-30T00:32:00.002+08:00

SUNDAY BLUES.

It should be this way since sunday marks the end of the week.

Here comes mon and I'll love it.

TTFN.

2011-05-25T16:58:00.000+08:00

I used to think I can handle it.

Trying to be something I'm not,
that's stupidity/

You know how it makes me feel then?

sigh.
where is simplicity when I need it.

ttfn!

2011-05-14T14:47:00.000+08:00

NOT YOU.

what pisses me off is ppl touching my things and messing them up!

Oh my gosh, I can go crazy.

Hell man!

And shit, I feel the stress ):

Procrastinating isn't an option.

Gotta gear up and fight.

Right now, I need to get out of my own house and go see the world outside.

Singapore is getting boring to me!

I neeed changes and of course hell lots of money.

Yes, I know Im very materialistic but that's what I want.

I shall not be like SOME people who try to potray themselves like fuckin good ppl from dunno where.

C'mon, we're all capable of sins.

I mean it's bad but it's damn annoying when you try to act like a cut above the rest.

woman! You're no better if you act this way.

Asshole.

I'm annoyed by some one.

I guess, we can never co-exist.

You craving for perfection makes me wanna push you down.

-.-

k wasting my time again.

But damn shiok to type it all out!

WHOOOO.

eat that!

and sigh, we always say we wanna do this/ wanna do that.

I realise everything just is in the form of talk or speeches, nth really ever happens.

giving up.

TTFN!

2011-05-12T07:44:00.000+08:00

Too long pretending, it's no use in trying, the pieces don't fit anymore.

Okay, I think I've been roaming around too much in youtube doing unproductive things like checking out old songs.

And, I chanced upon this track.

James morrison - the pieces don't fit anymore.

Ejected a lot of past memories.

Still, Love the tune (:

Alright, thurs morning.

it's hot, humid and there's sch at 9am.
Cannot wait for evening to come by,
Meeting up with people I wanna throw crap at!
Been a while.
Okay, I need money ):
ACtually, the thing that's holding me down is MONEY.
I realised that as I drift off to sleep last night.
It really revolved around that stupid nasty fucked up word, MONEY.
-.-
geez!
Beut hell no am I giving up.
lets back each other up, shall we!

C'mon carmella.

Get going!

TTFN!

2011-05-11T05:28:00.000+08:00

wednesday;

you know what guys or whoever checks this space,
I'm totally inconherrent about how life works out sometimes.
Whenever you feel your best, something just have to bring you down.
They say it's the circle of life.
When it's good, oh it's gooood & bad, BAD.
Take right now for example, the heat is a killer and I wonder when will it rain.
It raned for a short while yest before it got back being humid hot.
Emotion patterns for a human being is equivalent to that of a weather. Well of course, it varies from one being to another.
Somehow, I miss coffee days with someone special.
Starbucks soon? anybody?
I need to chill.
Esp with this climate conditions, im unlikely to keep the positive cheerful mood I had ever since I saw my idol live in concert.
Man! I safely conclude that going for a concert you like, is ten thousand times better than partying in a club!
drunkards.
But oh well! Club has it's own fair share of fun!

I'm all up and ready on a wed despite the earliness of the day!
I kinda miss my boyfriend for some odd reason which I don't want to go there cos it'll only accelerate feelings to craziness.
I sound like a psychopath! who cares!

Alright,
I want shopping!
I wanna go catch xmen first class, priest!

TTFN.
money pls fal from the sky.

2011-05-10T07:20:00.000+08:00

MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE! (:

You're so beautiful.

& that's not why I love you,
I'm not sure you know,
the reason I love you,
is you, in you, just you.
It's all that we went through,
that's why I love you.

(:

monday was chill.
Sometimes, making a guy understand is like tryin to create rain in this humidity.
nonetheless,
it's worth every effort if he's the best!

let go & lose yourself from time to time.
it does wonders.

TTFN! (:

2011-04-30T08:07:00.000+08:00

STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVq-MU7ojVY&feature=related

oasis (:

Starting my day with the band.

Sigh, wish I'd be able to live a day being part of a famous band.

And that particular day would be a day where they're hosting a tour concert.

niceeee.

So yes,

I'm currently stuck with munditnity, if there's a word for it.

Cos right now, blogger decides to underline mundinity in red, i'm guessing such a word is non-existent.

But, you get what I mean.

The weather has been pleasant.

My life is revolving under a fixed routine, somehow or rather.

People are complaining, while I'm facing some problems of my own.

Kinda hard to deal with it at times, but trying my utmost best.

School is really crazy, Physics and Bio overload!

Furthermore, 2 years in the working world showed me the difference between sch life and work life.

That actually goes without saying.

HAH!

Ah the randomness of it all,

My classmates are awesome!

Even created some group in FB for updates (:

Heees!

Ah well, looking forward for more fulfilling days eh carmella.

yes phone line's cut again. the depressing part, I shall hold back.

TTFN!

2011-04-19T19:00:00.000+08:00

Carmella, you're such a numb head.

who in the world panics while using a touch screen atm machine?
answer: ME

Missy here was actually clueless to the fact that the atm machine was touch screen.
I carelessly brush my hands across the withdraw 1000 bucks and ta-dah, I was stuck with a pile of 50 bucks.
MAN! the whole time I was frantic people spotted my bunch of fifty.
So like a sneaky thing, I carefully place the cash in a secret place.
THE FIRST TIME I HAD SO MUCH CASH ON ME.
cold hard cash.
fml.
I could not tolerate the fact that I had that much amt of money on me so I went on to text elix & kaifeng.
Both of them laughed and one even demanded money from me.
What a douche bag.

AH WELL.
another day.

Shit, my tummy's back.
I WANT MY FLAT TUMMY.

alright. good fri ya'all!
and sat! (:
hopefully there's flea!

TTFN!

2011-04-16T19:46:00.001+08:00

enjoy;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiiU-Fky18s

ttfn.

2011-04-15T07:41:00.000+08:00

HEY WAIT.

I'm starting to give up on you.

tried all means,

but you still don't get it.

one simple tea break is all I ask for.
Not the whole world from you.

someone get the dress above for me (:
I'll be more than happy.

TTFN!

2011-04-12T07:08:00.000+08:00

HI (:

Lately, I've been feeling way out of place.
I don't know what or how do I exactly feel.

To keep away the hurt you feel and mask it with some other emotions.
Or to deal with it and actually come right clean with it.

What is strength now?
Facing it, dealing with it.

I just want us to be happy (:

hees.
really, really happy.

(:

TTFN.

2011-04-03T07:56:00.000+08:00

THE UNIVERSE

sorry cindy.
I just did not want to complicate matters.
But, I fully understand why you're upset.

Anyway,
I received news.
Whoa, this is all going so fast.
Right now. WHOOOSH.

And, guess what.
Worries never end only if you decide to put it to an end.

And right at this moment,
I'm gg to fuck care and just let it be.

this one end, another one pops by.

eh hello?!

hmm.
Till who knows when!

I might just slip back to being old me.
Emotional & uncontrollable.

Ah. then again the episode about dopplehangers in HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER,
I salute ted's msg.
As time goes by, we become our own dopplehangers.

think about it.

(:

TTFN!

2011-03-31T07:28:00.000+08:00

JAY SEE DAEZ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-tkqpHnxTI

curcle circle dot dot. I think I was in J1?!?!

HAHAHA.

Was watching ryan higa on you tube lip singing to his fave songs and all the songs were jc1 era.

niccccceeeee :D

I hail,

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

my soft addiction.

TTFN!

2011-03-30T06:57:00.000+08:00

Interesting deals.

I was chatting with cass the other time,
we spoke about how things always "pops by" when your mind's far away from it.
Seems like life is always making us the fools of our very own life.
Sort of like a big joke.
It plays with us, manipulates us and then ending up laughing at us.
Eventually, we laugh along.
Because, we know what dummies we were.
Who are we to control the universe,
righhhhht?

Then again, I was chatting with olivia,
she set me in a situation talk.
As usual, I was doing my own rants about my life and my theories on my problems.
She set me thinking what if the situation is different, would I still play the game this way?
Very true.
I'm not so sure either.
however, oli! Here's my conclusion,
right now i'm in situation A hence, I guess I'm just being my situation A self (:
As we all know, change is always there, adapt or lose out.
Perhaps, that's the only way to find out.
if situation A doe snot work out,
we move on to situation B.

Next, I realised how much impact these talks have upon me.
Creates an atmosphere in my clogged life.
Be it a good one or sometimes even creating more thinking problems.
Nontheless, it's a platform to release inner thoughts.

I really wish to be set free one day.
to be,
worry-free.

Watch me,
As I trudge down the streets of italy.
I'll sure bring a cam-corder and record every single shit I do there.
And finally tell people,
" See! I did it!"

motivation.

And, if it does not happen,
Well, what can I say!
at least, I dreamt!

picture sharing;

brunch!

Alright! work time!

TTFN!

2011-03-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

TOOTH ACHE.

topic one:

Relationship being a bitch.

When it happens, it often leads to quarrels if minor or huge war if it's major and eventually a break-up if no solution is found.

and the cause of the above could be due to many reasons. Mainly it stems from the whole "UNDERSTANDING" issue between partners and of course values and character of each individual.

Based on my own "research" and "lab works" , I realised that my r/s problems always arises with this one main problem. And, how it always cripples us both.

sighhhh. I'd prefer to quarrel over who gets to use toilet first than to quarrel over priorities.

enough said.

topic two:

dental woes

I thought the whole pain was over. but damn it, it came back.

I guess this time I really gotta take action!

topic three:

school.

My god! I hope I get accepted.

"everyday I'm shuffling!"

TTFN! :D

2011-03-23T06:26:00.000+08:00

I'm in love with J-LO

you know what,
I'm tired.

over-worked.

disappointment.
what else?
HAH!
screw you people.

pictures from that day,

that's for that night.

sisters day!

myself.

T'was nice catching up with wong chuin sin yest!
only, AWESOME !
Had shokudo followed by macs at heeren with lousy connection.
That defeated her goal of "hao lian ing" to me.

I miss my gang of people.
chuin sin , vicki, kaifeng richard and darian!
Had a really long chat with chan guo wei tt day. thx dude!
shirla & mana!
Kinda miss the feeling of being in a class of really awesome same freq ppl like 1s24.
Von, kelly, rania, Liyun, mingyu , zach, guan jie.
The whole atmosphere we create is unlike any other.
SIGH.
time pass by, people change, environment change but memories, it's always, always there!
well, unless you've got amnesia, and then, too bad for you!

here you go some,
Espanol!
really would like to meet a spannish hottie and be friends with him.
sounds like a goal. heh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OIdMz4m3Cw&feature=related

I've got no idea what the lyrics means but man! it sounds only awesome!
esp the TU part.
tarik like shiok only ah. hmm!

& I think J LO's it.

TTFN.

2011-03-16T12:13:00.000+08:00

-PUFFER FISH FACE-

I think I have a puffer fish face.

It keeps growing sideways. I hate it.

Today, ill be the most immature brat alive.

i've been listening to french, spanish and even german songs.
HAHAHA.
how odd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REHf4SVVnZI&feature=related

Jaci Velasquez Como se cura una heridahttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZqpjRqTf-E&feature=related

sometimes, being with something out of your circle actually comforts you most.

Hence, the big urge to want to get away from here.
Be all alone.
And experience things that makes an impact.
Before deciding what I want in this life.

Alright, all this talk has got to do with the listlessness I've been feeling and the shit I've been dealing with.
It somehow led me to this.

AH WELL!
phone line's cut.
I got really angry & disappointed with someone so dear to me.
Work has been very mundane and taxing.
Food at home's bad.
Been avoiding certain people.

Amidst all these, the whole unnecessary headaches that's circulating around me,
I found the time to actually complete burlesque and the break up plan.

With sugar peanuts and nuggets,
it kinda made me feel like a blob but for the couple of hours I was actually a HAPPY BLOB.
Right now, i'm into CITY OF ANGELS, nicholas cage and meg ryan!!!!
I'm gonna go watch THE OTHERS and also EAT, PRAY, LOVE.

for now, I guess everything is going as per normal.
And, maybe, that's the whole problem.
It's too normal, normal.

TTFN!

2011-03-15T07:25:00.000+08:00

LAST SAT NIGHT.

{ you don't know what to expect in life, you set so many goals for yourself but how many do you actually attain? all? }

happy birthday my dear cassandra koh :D

I hope you had a gd one.

ZOUK OUT, this yr!

anw, keep rocking girl.

I had one hell of a night.

my sec sch girls.

Laughter, nonsense, insults, craziness and issues with one another,

we still manage as a group.

hell yeh!

Most graciously appreciate those people who took care of me.
Esp, faruq and cindy!

what stays in the club, stays in THE CLUB.

I was extremely tipsy, okay, drunk.

Thank god I did not pass out.

I still relive some moments though (:

interesting ones.

"Surprises" and the moment it hits you.

you just don't expect it.

Just checked my bank account yesterday.

Damn, all time low.

Imma kill myself if I don't start scrimping as of now.

Work's happening later and I'm at the lowest of my motivation level to actually even carry myself to work.

it's that BAD.

All I want to do, is hit the beach, with my lap top under the shade of a nicely laid out coffee house and just enjoy sipping cold ice lemon tea with the warm sun with an awesome view of the pacific ocean just enjoying various internet pleasure. No, NOT PORN.

yes, I want to do that.

IMPOSSIBLE.

but hey, everyone needs dreams (:

it keep us surviving.

TTFN.

2011-03-13T20:35:00.000+08:00

all wrong.

it's all wrong.

TTFN!

2011-03-08T07:12:00.000+08:00

THE SELFISH.

Hi world.

today's post will be solely on what I want and nothing else.

What I WANT,

stop taking my things, get your own. I dislike sharing everything.

a nicer room with MY kind of decorations & arrangements

a better phone.

More time to relax!

- hit the beach
- play the swings

- read a book at starbucks

-workout

I NEED SHOPPING.

buy tons of clothes.

tons of nail polish.

tons of bags.

tons of shoes.

tons of make-ups

sleep without any worries at night.

enjoy my favorite cartoons like spongebob, hey arnold and ginger!

watch endless movies.

cook, bake and experiment with food.

{ gotta have money to even get the ingrodients!}

create a style guide.

pen down my entire thoughts from today onwards.

Do not have to worry of thinking about all the grown up shit fuck shit.

don't wanna work no more.

Stop looking at their sad faces, the sad food

earse the thought of my brother's future.
close an eye to my sister's problems.
ignore their feelings, do everything I want to do.
Scream and shout, be the spoilt brat I wish to be at times.
Able to let my every single thoughts flow out and make them understand even though it kills them to listen.

more time with my every group of friends.

travel around the world. visit Italy especially!

party like a rock star.

Able to pay off my h/p debts and stop getting the line cut off.

be successful and respected.

I WANNA GET OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE AND EARN LOTS OF MONEY.

yes, that's what I really want although I do know deep down, money isn't everything.

But given my situation, you'd want money more than anything else.

To be honest, look how many things involves money to even complete it.

The burden, fuck it.

i'm sick and tired.

SICK & TIRED.

screw you, if you want to be all saint and talk morals with me.
Because im at a state of breaking away.
I cannot put the blame on anyone can I now?!

I need yoga I guess?

smth for my soul.

do I really need that?
Or money?

well, the logical me would want money.
duh.

then again, what's life about?

I guess, I've got to suck it up and live it up with what I've got.

still, SIGH!!!

tffn anyway (:

2011-03-07T06:56:00.000+08:00

MORRRRRRRRRNINGGG!

nothing like a nice peanut butter in the early morning!

and of course the self obssesed me.

BLOG-

Alright, As I've not shitted for the past couple of days, my digestive system decided to bring me some justice yesterday! And halleluia, everything was out! I felt like I was living again. Okay, I have so many goals for this mth. I'm really dreading the days whereby i'll have NO MORE income, or at least that HIGH of an income. It's true what somebody told me, "once you start working, it's hard for you to go rolling back to school life " True but it's not a CANNOT, right? So yes, I need to start sch, no matter what.

Apart from my self expectations, I caught 127 hours "with" faruq yesterday night. Yes, the with has inverted commas, only because that person ditch me halfway through the show for his gandam game while lazing on his comfy bed! HAHAHA. nonetheless, I still enjoy the moment. The show was sick. Fascinatingly sick. why? My tummy did flip flops and my hair stood as I see the lead desperately trying to saw of his own arm with a pathetic piece of small sharp tool. The part where he broke his arm like how I would break a chicken wing for BBQ was more of a cringing moment for me. Fuck! How I admire these people. His premonition came true. I guess that's how we all survive, THE WILL. It's whether you want it or not! So okay, kudos to him mr saw-his-own-arm canyon-er!

Recently, I've been thinking about how little time I have for myself.
Hence, i took the time early this morning entirely for myself.
I listen what I want to do and thinking about.
1) Braces expenses, whether I should go ahead with it?

2) Dates with friends
3) Improve my barely there cooking skills
4) re-arrange my room
5) Take pictures!
6) window shop or shop

- dresses

- make up

- bag

- shoes!!!
7) Thailand trip

8) HIMYM
9) gym / swimming

10) achieving my targets

I observed the world yesterday and I learnt that everyone is unique in their own ways.
yeh, we bitch but I think at the end of the day, we still ought to have the moral decency to treat our fellow enemies or people we dislike with manners. It's like hypocrisy but only for the better of the world. Seriously, no joke. true story! How does it feel like to be bullied and scorn at? IT SUCKS. So if you hate it, why do it to others? rigggggggggght? right!

TTFN.

2011-03-06T06:56:00.000+08:00

I want to have sharper features.

My tummy is having a row with me.

I don't know but I have not shitted for 3 days!

TTFN!!

2011-03-04T01:46:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T SLEEP!

for nuts.

Rainy starbuck days.

overdued but still rocking!

ttfn.

2011-03-03T10:56:00.001+08:00

STOLEN PHONE.

& i'm least happy about it.

nails. did it with hui xin and eilieen the other day!

outfit day.

TTFN

2011-03-01T07:37:00.000+08:00

RADICALS.

good whole morning tue to you! :D

I was using the wee morning hours watching LOVE ACTUALLY.
what a way to kick off the morning huh!
Religiously taking note of all the quirky quotes and lines the movie had,
for eg, "worse? that the agony of being in love " the lil boy said.
How true!
heeh. cutiee pie!

Anyway, gotta skip off to work soon.
Enjoy the bad quality pictures.
i decided to be suicidal and slice my finger :D :D
oh hurray, joy to the world.
HAHAHA, okay, really, JOY (:

TTFN!

2011-02-28T06:56:00.000+08:00

self-loved.

chomp chomp;

see my left eye is smaller. wassup?!?!

teardrops necklace!

& with ever step together, we just keep on getting better.

" dance the night away, live your life & stay young on the floor"
" dance the night away, grab somebody & drink a little more "

- on the floor; j.lo ft pitbull

heeeees.
I need money.
I need retail theraphy.
I need so many more.
But I guess what my sister say is true,
happiness isn't about getting what you want but loving what you have.
:D
cheers!

TTFN!

2011-02-27T08:49:00.002+08:00

wtf is this? It's like I wake up 4am-5am every single day.

SHIT HEAADS.

ugh, ttfn!

2011-02-27T05:32:00.002+08:00

why is she so gorgeous?

loved.

{blog}

Friends ask me whether I know or how do I know and deep down, honestly, I don't know.

Hence, why carry on right?

I don't know because something tells me to?

intuition.
know what?
always listen to yourself at the end of every day (:

TTFN!

2011-02-25T00:14:00.000+08:00

if it isn't clear enough;

happiness;

1) morning walks
2) smiles from my parents
3) evening breeze
4) a good read

5) faruq's warm hugs

6) brother's laughter
7) sister's whines
8) chick flicks
9) swings
10) benches in the night with my mp3

TTFN!

2011-02-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

{ you make my dreams come true }

hey folks, a random update (:

wong chuin sin, ill miss working with her!

me (:

p.s I love you

patronised this last sunday.

{blog}

I'm starting to itch everywhere.
The kind of itch I get when I see polka dots.
yucks, disgusting.
I just dislike how the many circular colored or non-colored filled shape can evenly or unevenly be spread around a surface.
Somehow, such a pattern makes me cringe and wanna stick my tongue out.
My day started out horrendously.
Firstly, mark my words people out there, I get very annoyed when you take my stuff without my acknowledgement. This kind of act drives me nuts.
Hence, the cold treatment.
Okay, guess i'm over the anger since that person who took it had his/her reasons.
Sigh.
On a happier note,
I had a yummy nice dinner (:

ban miaaaaaaaaaan, ni hao!

TTFN

2011-02-21T19:34:00.000+08:00

HEY BITCHES!

monday without any work.

bad eyebrows.

gd' morning world.

TTFN.

2011-02-20T06:28:00.000+08:00

{ Tidal waves they rip right through me; tears from eyes worn, cold & sad }

Hello folks!

A good Sunday morning to you guys (:

Today, Carmella will have an awesome day.

Just a couple of mins ago, I finished stuffing myself with a bowl of cereals with milk, 4 digestive biscuits, 5 grapes, a small bowl of frosties (bro's cereals =x) and I went to grab on to the packet of cereals and munched almost half of it away. So yes, I'm eating like mad. I wanna put on a few more kg and start toning up. WOW! what a statement from lazy me ehh.

That's really beside the point for today's topic. Actually, we don't even have a topic! Damn action ah carmella! Attended ah soon's 21st bday! Awesome friends, food and pictures?! I had a surprise last night! hees (: What a small small world. Told you! Don't be speechless if one day i just happen to marry one of your ex bf. The line I always tell my friends. We're all living in tiny lil sillypore, say what? Oh, I meant singapore. Enough (:

On top of my very pathetic minimal social life, I'm currently very addicted to Vanessa hudgen's style. Been keeping a lookout on her site for various items she pulls off!! And, I always go gaga over those bohemian looks. Am I psycho? I think so. Love the way she pull of certain street style looks! calm and casual! Although people have much issues about the Olsen twins, but hey man! I glorify them for their fashion picks as well. Very well thought and planned. I like! So yes, inspirations from the net fashion world. Seriously Vanessa Hudgens' style is rocking my socks these few days! Money ): I want to shop. Okay shutup, I know I've got more important stuff to deal with. In the future (:

Kinda miss hanging out with my boyfriend. Rarely have the time to have an actual full and fulfilling day with him. Sigh! Lonely girl 123 needs a chat. LOL! wtf right? Iyah, whine so much also no use, effort effort, is what it takes!

Movie galore! (: I love chick flicks. stereotype me, c'mon!!!! But I really do enjoy chick flicks! I've got a whole bunch of movies lately! OOOOHHH. happiness!

Yes, today, i'll have a happy day! Friend with benefit BRING IT ON, wong chuin sin! :D

By the way, I happen to have really bad facial conditions the past few days.
-UGH-

TTFN!

2011-02-20T05:52:00.000+08:00

I STINK !!!

literally.

stash from that day.

TTFN!

2011-02-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

LALALA.

the "singing" look.

(:

grocery shopping.
Walking down town.
gossiping
&
bad office mood.

TTFN!

2011-02-15T06:37:00.000+08:00

wonderful valentine's

Nahs, I did not spent it with my boyfriend.
In fact, I don't think we'll celebrate it this year.
):

I can be quite a sucker for romance though.
Hence, the little heart-wrenching moment.

For comfort, I had awesome company yesterday night though.
THE THREEIO!
nat , chuin sin and me.
A pity meihui could not join us.

SIX PM,
we started summing up the day in the office.
updated report, send sms & shut down computer.
Headed down to our usual "canteen" to have a fulfilling dinner and spoke about valentine's and it's woes.
Well, to be very honest, thinking on a larger scale, VDAY is another overrated day. Then again, I'm sure every girl would be delighted to share something special with someone special on this day. It's bullshit no girls on this earth would not be smitten by a simple sincere gesture done by the boy she fancies to highlight the day. OH C'MON!
So yeh, there we have it, couples parading down orchard road with bouquets of ALL SIZES some with teddy bears, baloons, and any other decorations, you name it, they have it!
Being random bored girls we were, we decided to start our counting game.
yessss, a bunch of 20 on to 21 girls idea of fun.
That's besides the point!
it was, THIRTY SIX appreciation showing couples prowled the night yesterday.
Kudos to those clever rose-sellers!
I bet they've earned 2 days of my pay in this day alone.
NOT BAD!

Anyway,
It was PS CAFE for the three of us!

It was where we shared our sinful portion of happiness.

yes, the BLACKOUT CHOC CAKE.

:D

yummz!

Had a very relaxing time up on the roof top,
sipping tea, enjoying latte and of course indulging ourselves in the purest of sin.
It was better than sex.

pictures soon, perhaps on FB?

TTFN!

2011-02-13T07:52:00.000+08:00

riverside.

Based on my fair memory, I clearly remembered posting such a picture.
But hey man, who can resist cute temptations.
Everyone's a sinner.
whoa.
My mum's gonna get my head for this line.

Anyway, valentine day's coming.
It's actually tomorrow to be precise, goddamit carmella!
anyway, WHAT'S THAT MAN! {acting cool and nonchalant only}

diverts*
" it not that I don't have dates, it's because I have to go to school "credits to her.
Oh fuck, my friend's so funny!

For me, I'll be having a THREESOME.
If you're thinking dirty, well, that's not very nice ah!

Iyah, woke up early to get my ass rolling back to sentosa.
):
Sigh, sometimes, I feel stuck in this rut!

I gorged myself with two bowls of honey cornflakes and two bread slices one with NUTELLA, the other PB&J.
I love breakfast.
& my appetite has been horrendous, so is my sleep.
Feeling robotic.

TTFN!

2011-02-12T07:37:00.000+08:00

so much talks.

someday, you'll look back on a space and wonder why were you so immature back then.

& I really hope I'd be there saying as I laugh, "yeeeh, why were we?! "

memories (:

TTFN.

2011-02-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

HUH.

OMG.

crappy photo for a crappppppppppy thurs.

I wanna do yoga!

RELEASE.

Why am I worrying over things people my age isn't

so unfair :S

Oh alright, I shall stop whining.

BLOG.
It's funny how some people become so close over time,
and with one sudden interference, everything's lost.
Relationships are golden.
Too bad some people don't view it as so.
All they think is about themselves.
Everything just have to resolve around them.
so sad (:

Today, I just felt like whacking my head against the computer.
It's too damn stagnant for my liking.
Lets swear to bring food for lunch for the rest of next week and the week after.
PLS!

Money is really an issue man.
it's spoiling everything!

some of you may not know.

TTFN.

2011-02-09T07:10:00.000+08:00

EH SEE WHAT SEE AH.

Eh!
Neh neh pok lah.
C'mon! wtf is wrong with this.
Stupid shit ass dumb F.
You know, it's effing stressful to wake up every morning thinking about it.
I HATE SINGAPORE I SWEARRRRRRR!!!!!
peace out.
:S

Okay okay, breathe!
Think.
Slog it out now, enjoy later.
slog it out now, enjoy later.
slog it out now, enjoy later.
{ as if chanting this mantra would help }

sigh shit sigh shit sigh shit.more like it.

thankful for wonderful girls at my office.
Kinda my motivation to go work.
Whereas the calling can just kiss my ass which isn't much of an ass anymore ): ): )':
WAILS*
I know lah, I trying to gain weight right.
Ask my body lah.
Don't say me ok, if I become a BALL next time.
Yea, notice how koyak my english is.
I'm paying my credits to singapore!

Spurting out nonsense because I CANNOT GET THE HELL BACK TO SLP.
stupid thoughts.
Want to block out also cannot. wah eh tough lah eh!

Alright, so back to BBC channel,
I caught THE REBOUND yesterday.
one phrase: worth your money!
Kept me entertained thorughout.
MILF?!?! (devil face)
hah! nah, there wasn't any porno scene.
No worries kiddos, you're legal as long as you're 16 and above!

Basically, the show was crafted out with catherine zeta jones being the elder woman in the relationship.
While justin barber played 15 years her junior.
Don't wanna spoil the whole story when actually the big highlight of the show was the huge age gap between the lovers.
It's not the norm perhaps that's why it makes the whole thing intriguing.
Alright, now thinking about it, it's like dating someone my brother's age.
O:
Ah well, like all cliche love story based whatevers, love knows no boundaries.
HAHAHAHA.
yeeeeeeeeeeeh right, this century?
I highly doubt so.
hoo hoo hoo-

No money?
No job?
No looks?
No education?
No hygiene?
No manners?
No brains?

dude, wassup?
Living alone?

ooookay, enough of fun poking,
if you happen to ans YES to all my ques above, pls pls, change at least one criteria about yourself, and life will be much more beautiful.
(:

I feel like heading down to parkway myself today.
yeh, been such a loner lately.
but, hell! I'm loving it.

TTFN.

2011-02-08T06:08:00.000+08:00

I've got a story to tell.

Max in wizard of waverly place reminds me so much of my lil brother.

I hope time will treat us better.

tired.

-you-

Deep down inside my heart, if you were to really listen, you'd not take it.

heartaches and many missing links.

it's the fear, space and differences that's causing it.
fight on.

oh man, what can anybody do.

& I refer to my sis post in her blog,

PATHETIC.

I wonder how long am I able to stay positive, to be honest, it's wearing out on me.

TTFN.

2011-02-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FACES.

omg.
I'm currently watching channel 8.
And, from the bottom of my heart, the acting, it's utterly speechless.
Somehow, serious moments in the tv sitcom turns very comical to me.
Is that bad?

Enough of criticism,
life's been treating me unfairly of late.
I guess my wants for this month has to be put on hold.

what can I say!
Hold on missy, the ride is only gonna get rougher.

Chinese new year was another year of false smiles and angbaos.

what's new?
Okay, the rock band session with my little cousins.
That's new.

If I'm not negative enough,
I'm running out of cereals.
Gotta go grocery shopping soon!
:S

and to sum up,
As of now, I've got nothing to look forward to.

Some joy in my life please?

TTFN!

2011-02-06T08:12:00.000+08:00

you me at six.

hello one and all,
a random day with chuin sin (:

TTFN!

2011-02-04T23:45:00.000+08:00

RAISE YOUR GLASS.

chamber maid. HAHAHAA!

random shots from random days.

too school for cool.

ttfn!

2011-02-04T10:45:00.002+08:00

will i be ok? hmm.

ttfn.

2011-02-02T07:04:00.000+08:00

LOVE STORIES ON STOMP??!?!?!

alright, so have you guys seen it?!

Those stories on stomp, some even made me guffaw.

I mean, I do appreciate those stories which speak of reality romance and I admit some were very fairy-tale like.

Perhaps there were a bit of exaggeration here and there. Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable read. Unlike those 2 min love stories, literally 2 mins! Whereby, boy A meets girl B through some online portal and mins later they become a pair. And before you know it, they were exchange love vows with one another. joke? Not that I'm being anti towards anyone having their own fair share of love but more of the quality of their stories. On the bright side, it provided me ample entertainment that gets me through the boring morning hours in the office. STOMP it! I wonder what would happen if I were to post my story with faruq. Or maybe I should come up with some stories with cristiano ronaldo and get my ass up on NEW PAPER, "PSYCHO GIRL POSES AS C RONALDO'S SCANDAL, SLUT?!" okay, no such SLUT words would appear on the front page. We're in s'pore. Or would it?! And the next thing I know, a hundred new friends on Facebook.

Next, Have you read about the news?! Father commits incest with daughter. Tell me, what exclamations do you gather from this piece of line, well, I know, Kinda like, "WHAT?!" "EEEEEEEEEE!" "YUCKS" "OMG!" "What the fuck/shit/hell!" these are the commone expression one gives me whenever I tell them about it. A random thought, would anyone say, "COOOOL SHIT!" . Yeh, maybe that 1% weird things that thrives this planet. brain malfunctions! Okay, So I heard it was the first CONSENSUAL incest?!?! how can an incest be consensual. Mine you, her biological father?! C'mon guys. after listening to such thing, it's throw up time!

The world's crazy.

I've got proof. the news.

yeah you guys should just raid channelnewsasia.com if you have the time.

i swear you wont regret it.

About my life, there's nothing much to share.

I mean, I've got my fair share of ups and downs.

And none of them are worth mentioning.

Oh cept' for the fact that I had a wonderful girlie day with chuin sin and yesterday I prowled chinatown st with the guys (: and we end off the night with a lil exploration of ann siang hill in the night. Happening much.

T'was fun being with my friends, it takes my worries away. However, only for that period of time!!!

It's my choice to live it up! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's tough esp when you got a whole bucket of emotions that's dying to escape from the boundaries of your heart.

I sense some emo-ness, stay clear!

Such a long post for wed morning.

Reunion dinner, least excited about it.

Gonna pack my room after half-day today!

TTFN.

2011-02-01T05:52:00.003+08:00

KNICK KNACKS

bye, ttfn.

2011-01-31T21:45:00.002+08:00

TRUST?

why am I so scared.

ttfn.

2011-01-30T12:55:00.002+08:00

hokkien mee & satay.

delicious outing,

first to hokkien mee + satay at geylang and it was off to udders at siglap.

rejoice.

I play the part.
Stand up carmella.
Don't back down.

TTFN!

2011-01-26T23:23:00.004+08:00

pump room.

death of elmo.

ttfn.

2011-01-24T06:45:00.002+08:00

self taken.

I'm so fucking tired,

work for the entire week!

And right now, it's back to work again.

JEALOUSY TURNING STRAIGHT INTO THE SEA.

why am I so jealous.

fucking insecurities. HAH.

die die die, such a whimp.

Gotta get back up!

TTFN.

2011-01-18T08:08:00.003+08:00

cheer up!

you & me.

FIGHT!

ttfn!

2011-01-17T21:14:00.002+08:00

Things I want to accomplish before I die,

1) Take foot on the grounds of italy.
2) Sumptuous breakfast in bed made by my love.
3) skinny dipping from my suite's pool.
4) work for a magazine company either travel or fashion
5) wakeboarding
6) Run a pastry baking shop for a day
7) climb a mountain, mt fuji perhaps!
8) meet cristiano ronaldo in person.
9) take so many pictures and create this huge ass photo album
10) create my own scent, perfume line.

So yes, I'm very much interested in travel & a whole lot of crazy ideas.

As much as I'd love to travel and the keen interest in fashion (almost every girl is -.-) & sophistication always intrigues me , I'd rather stick to conventions! Not because I'm gutless but because I'm only logical. I'd want to survive rather than left struggling.

Sigh, singapore, why is the mentality of your society so rigid.

It makes living tough for people whose dreams are wild.

Oh well, I'm happy enough helping people (:
I'll stay sane, yeeeh this ms next-door-girl, PLAIN JANE type who'd go into the medical field and offer her services!
Yes pls, physiotheraphy, bring it on!
This yr, it's the yr.

TTFN.

2011-01-15T08:16:00.003+08:00

cat wings

cha-chat eyes!

erratic behaviours.

nails.

spent my whole yesterday afternoon with faruq.

And, CNY shopping SOON!

anyone!

tTFn!

" I don't wanna work anymore "

2011-01-13T21:05:00.002+08:00

YOU'RE WRONG.

bad quality pictures.

THE CROSS.

nickelodeon, disney channel and TLC to complete my boring thursday night.

ttfn!

2011-01-12T05:16:00.003+08:00

TILL YOU MEET THE RIGHT ONE.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Making the right decision in my life is always the hardest thing to accomplish.

anger, hatred, jealousy, misery, paranoia and guilt.

So what about those?

it can be turned into happiness, with the right mindset and tactics.

fuck care the rest of the world & live it your way!

TTFN!

2011-01-11T06:50:00.004+08:00

NOT FOR THE HUNGRY

& that's the HAND BURGER for you.

Next to try : the veganburg.
Till next pay day.
Yeah, that broke ):

unruly.

holes.

buck teeth.

TTFN.

2011-01-10T06:25:00.003+08:00

Something to start my monday.

THE POLICE SHIRT.

" love the slouchy effect it gives "

Self made breakfast;

It's monday!

Live it up, stick to goals!

TTFN.

2011-01-09T13:58:00.010+08:00

SCRIMP AND SAVE

how?

bring lunch to work every single day for the whole month of january.

except this coming monday.

It's THE HAND BURGER with chuin sin and mei hui.

" In life, we're given all sorts of disaster to deal with, stay strong."

ttfn!

2011-01-08T12:38:00.003+08:00

TIMBRE 101

people & camera - check!

random shout-out : " I wanna try queen st's food for thought! "

more people and camera.

The half-half pizza and my prestige card.

Tequila sunrise for me (:

good fellas were jamming that night.
Enjoyed myself with the girls.
Shuchen, cherie, wunyen & cindy.
We shared some good times after all, so cheers to that!

jolly good day.

ttfn!

2011-01-08T08:43:00.003+08:00

REVIVED.

basically,
THE CAST.
- kaifeng: mr egoist
- eileen: Hates china men who stares rudely
- darian: milo kope-er

And, secondly

cheesecakes from THE CHEESECAKE CAFE.
Awesome shitssss!

the cakes

1) blueberry "ever classic" - mella
2) vanilla choc chips "AWESOME! wah lucky i choose this" -kf
3) Brownie cheesecake "try mine very yummy! (: " - eilieen
4) Rum & raisin "the rum and raisin very little below right... (Went on talking about his home-made cheesecake he makes) " - darian

overall.
t'was good! (:
A very ancient-greek inspired cafe.
Loved the deco, the company and darian's hilarious stories!
Last but not least,
We bumped into our "FAVE" gossip of JC life.
Not bad for lil s'pore.
You see people you know almost 2/3 of times!
okay, might exaggerate A little there.

next up, TIMBRE with my girls.

reason;
Why am I back here?!?!
I need to occupy myself with something I love doing.
Hence, I decided to win back my old love.
Not literally, cos tt dude has got himself countless of gfs after me.
whoa. Okay! that was a random comment!
I meant, blogging!
(: yeh.
It's hello BLOGSPOT once again.
& this 2011,
I strive to be a happier person.
" YEH. YOU GIRLS WHO CAN AFFORD BRANDED STUFF, JU-JUST GO TO HELL! "
now, that's happy.
yeah?
Okay. seriously, I'm thankful for what god provided for me.
And I guess, it's just a matter of living life to the fullest.
In your point of view (:
Like how katy say,
"No regrets, just love"
was it this in TEENAGE DREAM?

CRAP, how I miss blogging.
Naaaahs to tweet heads, ill just stick to traditions.

TTFN!

2010-03-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

LOVE ME LOVE ME, FOOL ME FOOL ME.

my word.
I'm listening to justin bieber's songs.
I know how gay he is but still no harm listening to cutesy lil boy's voice with allthe same song base from time to time yeh?

right now, I have no idea what to blog about.
I spend the whole day at home.
It's driving me nuts.
Everytime I'm at home and lil things bug me, all I want to do is stay out.
I just have issues.

OH WELL.
supperclub was supperlicious?
HAH.
primary school, secondary school and jc friends unite!
seriously man.
Fun, funny and enjoyable.

i just hate the freaking pack and hot dancefloor.
& the sweat that forms from your pores. eeeews.

Some cab driver can talk non stop, FACT.

tatafornow.

2010-03-06T00:10:00.002+08:00

what am i.

hello.
(:

supperclub tmr?
yeh.

my knee pain.

alcohol yet again.
weird how baileys can actually smell like my nail polish remover.

DEAR JOHN failed me.
I think the show was a failure.
Just like alice in the wonderland.
-.-
wastage.

At least I had good company.

I learnt texas hold'em.
SUCCHA NOOB ME AM AT CARDS.

sorrraaaye pweepole! BEAR WITH MUA.

& i think yau sis is awesomely cool.

deb, yau (: (: rock on.

faruq, mwa, i know i can be suchha whiney mood changing creature at times.

i feel useless today.

TTFN.

2010-03-04T01:49:00.002+08:00

free falling'

(: (: (:
so smile!

TTFN.

2010-02-26T16:39:00.002+08:00

YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WANT.

helloooooo.
super tired me.
it's friday! (:

PLANS,
none.
oh cept' family stuff.

Am supose to head to zouk today with the girls but I'm sorry ):

Yesterday was impromptu, I went drinking with my colleagues.
Funny people.
I swear laughing was contagious last night.
it was like hearing ibrahim's laughter.

everyday I hear stories,
F man girls, stop degrading yourself alr.
If he's not worth it, HE'S NOT.
bodoh or what?!
he tells you you're ugly, a true man who's in love with you will never say such a thing.
slap him pls.
if not, I wanna slap.
heartaches, straight through your heart.

YUCK MAN. I hate feeling broken hearted nowadays.

& I still believe forever exist (: hees.

oh well.
gonna rot myself OFF.

TTFN.

2010-02-24T22:11:00.001+08:00

WHY THE NEED TO LIE?

hahahahahahahahahaaaaaa.
i'm so sick of my life.
HOW?

eat me up (:

OH PEOPLE.
AFTER A THOUSAND YEARS,
I finally BLED.

thankyou thankyou.

TTFN.

2010-02-22T16:16:00.001+08:00

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODZXZ!

I've finally made a tumblr account.
wow me!

go check,

WWW.TALKSTALKER.TUMBLR.COM

love or what.

TTFN!

2010-02-22T02:33:00.003+08:00

oh look it's you again!

howdy rowdy people.
Am up eating my home made magi mee.
It's unspeakably delicious because I cannot speak while I eat and of course it's made by none other than ME.
pro not?!??!?! LOL.
why am i like that?
ans: I CAN FEEL MYSELF RECOVERING! yeaaaahooooo.
I'm still going to the doc tmr though.
yup, gonna burn the clinic down for not opening their doors to me yesterday.
oh well, I am revengeful. never did I say I wasn't ;)
on a serious note, I'm really going to make a trip down to the clinic for serious stuff.

The weather today was tormenting!
Pretty glad I was doing in the restaurant (:
However, the boredom that got me was severely un-tahan-able.
and the sad fact of today, I FREAKING PAID 12 bucks for my mistake.
Yeh, talk about mistake costing you, mine really COST me.

ah soon! happy birthday! (:
I know that came out a bit abrupt. hees.

I SWEAR FACEBOOK IS COMING UP WITH A LOT OF RETARDED FAN PAGE.
retarded.

While at work, I read through SEVENTEEN MAG march issue and I cannot help but laugh at ridiculous post.
Cheap thrills of mine! HAHAHAHAA.
not exactly cheap man that book of bounded papers cost me 3 bucks.
At least I was kept entertained. ah hah!
(:

K LAH.
I feel weird while people around me mug for exams.
this goes out especially to my sis.
I CANNOT DISTURB HER PROPERLY ANYMORE ):

" I still wanna believe in fairytales even though I know how the world works. "
TTFN, before I become a pain in the ass!

2010-02-21T01:09:00.003+08:00

JUMPER.

so what do you do on days where you fall sick?
I accomplished my yesterday with 3/4 of the day with sleep and 1/4 of the day being a useless zombie.
For today, I want to proudly announce that there was lesser sleep time, however I felt like some bed ridden asshole who cannot get her ass up and moving because of annoying aches and pain. weak weak weak, I KNOW!

Let me speak, I stayed on my bed watching criss angel on you tube, what a nice company he made (: Spent some of the time answering calls from faruq who's having quite a bit of stress from his disgusting exams. Okay, not quite a bit make that hell lot. ALL THE WAY FARUQ!
Other than criss angel, I was tumblr-ing around. Yeh! i apprently went to read people's tumblr. Call me a tumblr stalker or what, I don't care cos it was pretty fun! I chance upon many interesting stuff. People that have issues with other people, the society, the world or even themselves. I laugh as much as I cried. Some were just, touching.
Sigh, I don't know, but fsome guys always tell me "so gay" whenever something emotional happens or something that relates to affection and it makes me laugh sometimes because there is nothing gay about that, it's just what makes us human. right? (:

CNY was unfortunately not a great fantastic one.
a) I fell sick
b) I am still sick

by the way people,
I'm gonna try to attempt to go to work tmr.

To my friends like shimona and dan,
I'm really sorry I can't make it over to your houses!
I hope you guys had fun though (:

oh well oh well oh well.
Carmella, what can we do now?
I completed the movie jumper with my siblings.
Drank two cups of tea.
Ate 2 panadols.
rolled in abdominal cramps.
and the wonderful saying which I've never used before in my blog,
FML.

i'm still considering tumblr. hah. i know, me damn slow. you know, i'm just. just being picky (:
ttfn.

2010-02-20T20:38:00.001+08:00

Lollipops turn into cigarettes.

The innocent ones turn into sluts.

Homework goes in the trash.

Mobile phones are being used in class.

Detention becomes suspension.

Soda becomes vodka.

Bikes become cars.

Kisses turn into sex.

Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?

When protection meant wearing a helmet?

When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?

Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero?

Your worst enemies were your siblings.

Race issues were about who ran the fastest.

War was only a card game.

And the only drug you knew was cough medicine.

When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut.

The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn’t wait to grow up?

THAT'S WHY I HATE CHANGES.

got this from some chick's tumblr.
I wanna start one also!
seem cool.

TTFN

2010-02-18T21:08:00.003+08:00

WHY MUST I FALL SICK.

I don't need people to care.
what for?
I don't need your concern.
Like it would help.
I don't need comfort
why must i?
I don't need you.
I do

many people live in self-denial from day to day.
oh trust me.

being sick makes me feel weak. I don't like it ):
Head pain. back side pain. throat itchy. crappy mood.
all the disgusting things of mine all rolled into one.
fuck man, fuck this shit hole of sickness invading my body!
ttfn.

2010-02-18T13:44:00.002+08:00

LIKE AN OLD ABANDONED HOUSE.

Hello world.
Lately, I just want people to leave me alone.
Lately, all I want to be with is with faruq.
Lately, I feel so miserable.
why?

DUNNO.
erratic moods of carmella teigh.

I wanna go to work, but damn sickness.

SHITTTTY! :S

ttfn-

2010-02-12T23:36:00.005+08:00

life after death.

Did I mention that I met my boyfriend very unexpectedly today?
nice one ah faruq.

Luckily I wasn't with my second boyfriend!

& he not with his second girl friend!
HAHAHAHAHAA.

such coincidences only gives me this warm fuzzy feeling inside after being stunned for a while staring into the face I'm so familiar with.
marina square,
who knew?

&&
da jia hao.
xin nian kuai le!
wan shi ru yi!
kiss kiss kiss.
{ uses chinese accent }
*pls do not hit me

TTFN ONE & ALL.

2010-02-12T02:10:00.002+08:00

Juneau

you know people, I've not the slightest idea of what that word above which makes today's title means.
(: cool? much.
It's just one of funeral for a friend song.

Back to me blogging,
I'm feeling rather antsy right now.
shit happened, and it stunned him as much as it stunned me.
be strong.
life never ceases to amaze me.
think about it.
We were chatting happily just 2 HOURS back.
and right now, everyone's not in the mood for cheery smiles and delightful faces.
life life life.

Refering to the post below, CNY IS BLOODY TWO DAYS AWAY?!?!?!
& guess what i just observed!
the society seem to be losing it's tradition.
seriously. And, I think I'm guilty of such a crime.
I mean, I don't get it, sometimes.
lets not deatilfy everything k! (:
Just that the bus ride back home, listening to people's conversation, just made me think about our tradition.
It's dying. BIG TIME.
youths and not even youth see festivals such as CNY as a whole get money thing.
so wrong.
as much as there's bad, i know there's always a pool of stick-to-roots people.
so yeh, I guess it pretty balnace everything up eh.
point is, people seem so, I don't know, "MIXED" in their values nowadays.
HAH (:

then again maybe not so.

TTFN!

2010-02-11T12:27:00.002+08:00

fucking eye lids so fucking pain.

CNY coming,
weird how I don't get that much excitement.
Like what they say as you grow older, festivals seem less fun.
it's always the same same same.

I may sound like some fug ass person. I know.
that's what you get when you work 3 days in a row.
with little sleep and lesser love.

& seriously, I thought life without ipod would be okay.
NO! IT'S NOT.

story of my life.

TTFN.

2010-02-08T22:54:00.001+08:00

AS RANDOM AS I CAN BE

he makes me wanna play the guitar.
dammit.

ttfn!

2010-02-08T22:25:00.002+08:00

you were always beautiful.

Maybe sometimes god separate people for them to find their way back to each other's life.
little by little.
(:
so if you're missing someone right now,
tell yourself,
one day you'll be reunited.
by hook or by crook.

always thinking +

TTFN!

2010-02-06T13:01:00.002+08:00

SCARS
" I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, my weakness is that I care to much. "

wow wee,
saturday (:
hmmmmmm.
I don't know if everything is gonna go well but I'm taking my chances 'aight?

I think I've got really bad skin.
& bad hormones.
):

oh yeh, i'm still depress bout the fact that bla bla bla bla bla.
why is the world so unfair?
no point drowning yourself in self-pity.
No one's gonna pity you.

TTFN.
Dear lord, pls send me a guardian angel.

2010-02-05T15:16:00.002+08:00

PISSSED.

i hate it whenever plans screws up.
You get yourself ready, plan ahead and they just don't happen.
& all you get is lingering dissapointment.

alone at home.
angsty

TTFN.

2010-02-04T21:58:00.002+08:00

hi there.
I'm having a pretty bad day.
One wrong move and you'll set my time bomb ticking.
on a random note,
I sang LIPS by myself just now.
The feeling was awesome to the somezxz.
TTFN.

2010-02-01T15:21:00.001+08:00

there can never be too much love in this world.

TTFN.

2010-01-31T23:40:00.002+08:00

MY Y

I used to be soo hooked to this song.

to you;
we're more than friends!
We're best friends (:
I may not understand what you're going through cause relationship issues are always hard to deal with.
You may want to be so but then again it's hard going through with your own decision.
Afterall going against someone who means something to you in this life is always hard.
I've got no heart tp break people's heart.
that's for me.
I don't know what are the right words that will comfort you most,
but i'll just let you know I'm here alright!
When you've got it all sorted out,
come back & we'll hang out.
life is sometimes hard that's why god created other people like our friends to guide us through such shit holes.
To save us from ourselves.
I believe you'll see this through.
(:
be strong k.

oooooooooohhh.
yest, I had one hell of a evening/night.
times like those always makes me appreciate life more.
faruq, be my boyfriend for an eternity?
set?
:D

TTFN!

2010-01-30T11:37:00.003+08:00

WORLD.
I just woke up (:
Grogginess.
logged into FB and stumbled upon this msg from some random dude asking me "d u bite?"
hmmmm, what could the meaning be?!

is he horny? retarded? or just being funny?
I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW.
But it did somehow made my morning.
oh yes i bite, especially on days where I want good digestion (:
alright, he could very well be a nice guy.
i'm sorry for poking fun. Just had to (:

ME SAYING, TTFN!

2010-01-29T16:18:00.003+08:00

it's friday and i'm here.

hi there.
Considering the fact that it's friday and i'm right here typing sense-less-ly. (note the word)
you can pretty much conclude how boring a life carmella leads.
That's for my mundane friday.
Perhpaps I'm feeling as such has got to do with the lack of motivation in my life as well as the routined based living i've accquired through the years.
Or maybe it's just because I woke up to a very bad start today.
Life surprises you doesn't it?
You thought friday will be glorious when you fall asleep on thursday night but when friday finally arrives and you open your eyes to greet daylight, you see a scene you wished not to.
I think I'm clinically insane to the point that during days where I feel depress, I think that there's two carmella living within this body of mine.
That's step one to screwing up your own life. seriously. because you can never trust yourself again. You don't know who you're gonna be or worse you don't even know who you are. For those who are retarded, by saying i'm mentally ill, I'm not really mentally ill. So, pls, don't fear me. I'm actually friendly (:
It's just how I feel that makes me think I'm insane. Too much emotions can do you danger.
Alright, Back to the mundane life I have, I'll be starting work in a few hours time. Cannot wait for that!
At least, I've got something to do!
Speaking of which, I had this huge urge to whack something this morning. Text-ed faruq, unfortunately that guy had other plans. AND, No! I did not want to whack faruq, I wanted to visit the arcade and dissolve myself to silly mindless games that requires me to exert much force in order to own the game. YUP. like, throw a ball, whack those pop up shit or spray some water gun. ANYTHING OF THOSE SORT.
yeah, you get it.

yoooooze.
I JUST FEEL SO LISTLESSSS RIGHT NOW.
hence, i blogged.

TTFN.

2010-01-29T13:36:00.002+08:00

DEAR JOHN;

what can happen in 12 mths?
me: anything.

SUCKER FOR SUCH MOVIES.
wanna watch it with you

TATAFN!

2010-01-28T11:55:00.002+08:00

" I found myself in wonderland, I'll get back on my feet again "

when the world's crashing down, when I finally hit the ground.
I'll turn myself around, don't you try & stop me
& I won't cry.
I'll get by, I'll survive.
just as avril sang it.

My body has internal conflicts with itself.

when I was little, my uncle used to call me a mosquito cos for my age he thought I had extremely long legs which was unusual. in hokkien he used the words, TENG KAH MAH.
I got really irritated with mosquitos after that.
some kids never forget.

TTFNOW.

2010-01-27T22:10:00.002+08:00

"Stolen"

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart

hello.
(:
life can be sooo beautiful.
All of a sudden,
I don't feel like quitting my job.
it feels like a break-up somehow.
weird how you hated something so much and end up liking it.
?!?!?!?!
explain.
lol, who am I kidding.
i know why.
but thanks eshlyn & debbie for giving me job offers.
I've got a plan in hand.
hopefully it'll work out.

on a random note,
there's a couple poser!!!!!!
they're posing off as ME & FARUQ.
if seen pls call my number, i'll see to that matter asap.
your help is greatly appreciated.
if you don't know im joking by now, pls slap yourself.
:D
but the part about couple look-alikes ( a better word for poser) of me and faruq is indeed REAL.
my sis & her BF thought they saw me and faruq the other day.
however, those two were not excactly me & faruq.
confusing much?
read again.
still don't get it?
msn, sms, phone me.
MACHIAM BREAKING NEWS.
know what, just forget it.

now,
you there,
give me a huge ass smile.
THAT'S RIGHT.
life should be just that way.

TTFN
{ you have stolen my heart }

2010-01-25T13:41:00.004+08:00

because, I want forever to exist.

I want a million dollars.
I want a husband who will dote on me, love me, sayang me 24/7
I want reliable trustable worthy friends who's not let me down.
I want a family without problems
I want a comfortable life.
I want happiness everyday.
I want what I want
BUT.
in reality,
I does not know ME
Certain wants I want does not exactly make ME a happy person.
eg,
my brother annoys me.
but if he were to turn into an angel and obey to whatever I say,
I don't think I'll ever have that kinda love for him anymore.
I'd be majorly psychologically affected. {FREAKED OUT}

okokok, to put it simply, perfection is not what we need.
& having so many WANTS in our life is just a sign of how human beings craves for satisfaction.
& satisfaction is a component to a perfect life co swe get to settle our craves in life.
However, do go and have coffee with bill gates, I'm sure no matter how much money he got, he's still unsatisfied in some aspects.
Unless! He has pride as huge as mount everest then, don't bother (:
no offence my male counterparts but dudes, your ego can get a bit way off hands sometimes. HEES!
but yes, I love you guys for that in a very quirky and weird way.
& seriously, No matter how many times you heard this line (perfection does not make perfection) I bet you need this reflection from time to time.
So. HERE IT IS from me (:

yesterday was IM-PORMT-U day (:
met up with yau & deb.
ORCHARD-ED
CLARK QUAY-ED
okay still laughing over the fact that deb told us she wanted to marry martel
see, money does not buy me these kinda moments but it's involve in this kinda moments.

DAMN.
money flying away again.

And I DON'T DENY the FACT that MONEY is IMPORTANT.
fuck man.
I wanna be rich.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Did i just counter-attack myself?
who cares!
but iyah, i still stick to whatever i say above.
imperfections makes perfection people.
embrace flaws but not worship them!

one last thing,
I HATE DE JA VUSSS.
makes me thing something bad is gonna happen.
:x

life's damn unfair sometimes.
solution?
PRAY

TTFN

2010-01-24T14:35:00.002+08:00

mayday parade - 3 cheers for 5 years

wah so cute (:

TTFN.

2010-01-22T16:44:00.004+08:00

NEVER GONNA BE ALONE

nickelback.
" i'll hold you till the hurt is gone "
aww.

Just the other day when my dad had the rented car,
we went to katong to eat and out of randomness, me & sis started singing tick tock by keisha while walking towards the car and MY MY MY! how good a duo we made! (:

I need some remedy for my life.
I feel like exhausting my mind, body and soul.
irony to that,
Am quitting wavehouse soon!
it's kinda SAD ): come to think of it.
i'll miss the awesome people there.
&&&
The free soft drinks.
The free meals.
The nonsense.
The teasing.
The mocking.
The hot bods.
The stimulated waves.
The free transport home
OKAY.
I'm close to tears alr.
HAHAHAHHA. drama only.

experience is what counts!

alrighty, i'm gonna meet mana later (:
Perhaps take big strides around orchard road to wash down all the whatevers in my head right now.

Listening to the radio now, just been informed that THE KILLERS concert were cancelled.
last min much -.-
oh well.
Oh by the way, I find everything in this world pretty much a joke.

AND.
you know what irks me most?
Having to pretend that i'm enjoying every word you say when actually all I want to do is give you a PUNCH.
uh huh.
A PUNCH.

As for my love life,
i'm going crazy
with pain & joy.
it's happiness we're fighting for.
note to self: can't be afraid of the dark.

TTFN.

2010-01-21T11:50:00.002+08:00

life's just like this pair of jeans shorts.

no matter how much you want it, you can't have it unless you're determined to save enough money for it. Not only that, you must make sure you're not gonna regret it once you got it.
However, as good as it looks like in this pic, once you got it on hand and two years down the road you might have that regret whether big or small, does not matter cos that regret will somehow pop up in your head and you thought it. Then again, on other days you might just wear it and feel the comfiness of it and think how worthy a purchase you made.
lifeeeeeeeeee
you don't know if you wanna cry or laugh sometimes.

TTFN.

2010-01-20T11:37:00.002+08:00

words that are unspoken

feelings

ttfn

2010-01-20T00:46:00.001+08:00

i'm hurting very much on the inside.
pls help me.

2010-01-18T19:04:00.003+08:00

DO YOU KNOW THAT ...

ants never sleep!

&&
I've not been bleeding below for close to TWO months!

:O

shh, don't tell anyone.

so what did she say?
ttfn.

2010-01-18T13:57:00.002+08:00

SOME THINGS NEVER FADE

ric ; mella ; darian
friendship with a whole lot of trust

i'm in love with DSLR cameras.
BUT.
I'm not gonna spend money on one.

I NEEDA BLOG THIS.
SORRY DEBBIE QUEK TING JIE FOR BEING ANGRY.
I really was =x
guess I've calmed down.
I still love you as much.
& k lets not do this kinda things to each other anymore.
I feel like I'm talking to faruq.
LOL!
But you know, what I meant righhhht :D
clubbing will be much better with you.
I cannot really dance properly with yau.
hmmmm. you know.
but yau was still the good fella! protecting, even though he was pretty much out of range but still sane.
well, times we shared, golden.

it's how you learn to control your temptations and have a strong mind bout it, the chance of commiting a mistake is much lesser.

GONNA ENJOY MY BUTT AWAY BEFORE I HIT 20!
lalalala.

oh yeh while at work yesterday, was busy texting mana about striking 4d and toto!
Imagine both of us did.
Everyone would suddenly be our best friends.
AH GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
where were you during deperate hopeless times?!?!
these kinda people deerve the F word most.
speaking bout the word FUCK,
I was listening to this tune at work yesterday,
made me giggle.
the line was
" get the fuck and shut the fuck up "
it wasn't clear the first time I heard it. took me like 3 lines to get all the words.
I know, not me, it was boredom!
ANYWAY.
think bout the words.
crude, unholy yet kinda hilarious i think.
IYAH.

happy birthday sidi & zack (:
you guys made work fun for me!

I'e been having rellay spastic dreams lately.
just shoot me.

TTTTTTFORN.

2010-01-16T12:02:00.002+08:00

ppppooooooooooooopppppppppxzx

my emo cat.

my happy bestfriend

my BFFS.

chheeeeeeeeeeeeesaye to the max.
but, i likeee (:

OKAY.
had TWO awesome night.
1st MED rock my socks as usual.
We freakin SHEESHA-ed.
No more a virgin in that department.
the verdict, NOT NICE.
waste my money!
Maybe cos I dun smoke that's why.
I just feel that I was conned with strawberry tasting like some other weird shit.
well oh well, talk to the girls.
extremely elated about the fact we shared so much (:
alright, they will always be they!
NEXT.
supperclub yesterday.

debbie! where the hell are you??!?!?!
I was very dissapointed when you did not show up you know ):
feeling pissed bout tt.
sorry.
Anyway had fun with the guys but I think i'd prefer a girl to tag along!
dancing with guys is fun but not to the extent of FUN you get when you're with your girls!
WEIRD HUH.
oh well, saw a couple really into it.
{ i dont even know if they're a couple }
Anyway, it was spicy! :D

and, WHOOOOOOOOOO.
nice shot people!

watched IT'S COMPLICATED with faruq.
we laughed our ass off.
niceeeeeeee.

alrighty, ttfn!

2010-01-14T11:31:00.003+08:00

morning my people!
Yesterday, after work, I met zubbie and as on any random days, we decided to watch the above.
AWESOME SHOW.
(:
love it.
cute comedy romance.
my style!
Actually, me & zubbie hadda kill time for like 2 hrs before returning to wavehouse to celebrate our boss's birthday!
happy birthday terry! (:
Well, it was awkward when both of us entered wavehouse.
We just did not know how to blend in.
HAHAHAHAHAA.
people were wild.
And honestly, i'm not that kinda genre.
:x
Thank god zubbie was there.
We went down for a while, caught terry's birthday vid surprise and then balik kampung! (:

too much of anything can make you sick.
" fight for this love"

~~HURT~~
I've tasted enough.
STRENGTH
i can.

LIFE ON MY THURS

I'll be meeting eshlyn & debbie later at 6.
Can't wait for that!
I'm so going to grow old with them.
I DON'T CARE AH.
We may not meet up as often anymore, but I still want you guys in my life ):
I'll be miserable if I lost you people.
I know I suck at being a good frine in the long run, I hope you guys forgive me pls!
COS, I CAN NEVER FORGET YOU PEOPLE.
laughing. crying. getting angry.
We did everything together before.
Boyfriends aside.
Family aside.
We're talking about good all time girl friends time!
HUGS.
thankyou for being there for me the past year eshlyn & debbie.
Although I may not have reciprocate as much, I did appreciate what you guys done, i really do esp now as I think back. THANKYOU.
alrighty.
Now, I'm gonna wiat for my beehoon to arrive.
Daddy is the best man! (: Always buy me breakfast.
And stupid sister outside watching dunno what prog sounds boring.
Gonna entertain her soon! HEH HEH.
I miss some people, sigh.

bring it back!
Bring the goood times back!

TTFN!

2010-01-11T23:28:00.001+08:00

;SISTER.

She is your mirror, shining back at
you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your
worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your
midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.
She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your
shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.
-- Barbara Alpert

I LOVE MY SIS <3
x ten thousand

the idea of work tmr stinks.

ttfn, again.

2010-01-11T15:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes, I just want you to understand the words I'm not saying.

to my family;
one hell of an old song
but, I love the tune, her voice & the lyrics.

can we exchange hearts for a day?
I feel how you feel.
& you feel how I feel.
I guess, at certain point in our lives, there'll always be days like these.
Feeling unsatisfied with our lives.
Prioritising other things that inflicts pain without you realising it.
or maybe, in another point of view, i'm just being selfish focusing on my side of the story.
However, I'm trying hard.
i'm only a female human.
I put that sounding like an excuse, perhaps I am using that as an excuse.
whatever it is, I'm kinda tired of my own emotions.
at the end of everyday, it's HOPE, YOU & ME.
it's confusing cos when i think about it, this whole thing I feel, it could be self-creation.
strength & delusions.

oh, words are not worth that much.

ON MY OWN, TODAY.

caught changeling, struck many emotional chords within me.
I found the director amusing.
How he tangles human strength, corruption, women status and religion all into one show.
In my aspect, it's a good one.
I admire the lead actress.
While watching the show on HBO just now I was kinda piss off with how the story lead on to false findings.
But at the end of everything and giving it some thought, the whole getting pissed off wasn't worth my energy because it's the whole false findings that rooted teh show to it's masterpiece.
The police shoving the boy to his "mother" just because they are the POLICE and wanna have their credits. { NAHHS, I SENSE LAZINESS }
on a macro point of view, we ought to study things that happens in the show and apply it to reality.
Who knows, such things, it could be happening right under our noses without us realising it cos we're programmed to think otherwise.

nice?
alright enough heavy stuff!

dudes!
I'm turning 20 in acouple of months.
I wanna have fun.
actually, FUN NEVER STOPS.
you can be my parents age and still be out there partying.

that's cool.

what irks me sometimes is the conservative minds of old folks who just cannot take a breather and chill, and no! i'm not talking bout my folks cos I think they're awesome! (:
Being too conservative about life pisses me off.
Being too open about life disgusts me.
LOL.
no wonder I never achieve peace in my mind.

OKAY.
what shall carmella do now?!
ROT.

ps; what's fun about blogging?
you type all this shit thinking no one's gonna read it when actually there are people who reads and actualy gives a damn or they might as well just be bitching about you.
BUT STILL, THEY READ!
they heard you.
(:
now, i'm kinda satisfied with that thought.
bye.

TTFN.